for my mother Lecky Labrum (1917-1986), who loved the contralto voice of Kathleen Ferrier (1912-1953) which – on vinyl records – was one of my earliest memories at Gresford Avenue, Chester.
Lecky was pre-deceased by her first daughter Carole (1939-1977), my eldest sister. All three women died of breast cancer.
No mother should have to bury her daughter
Kathleen, how would I know
you’d be the answer to that quiz*?
Pianist first, like her, then the ebony voice
that filled the breathy, breasted
days in Gresford Avenue.
I said, Oh yes,
and then they’ll play ‘Blow
the wind southerly’ or row
the keel across the bay.
Oh no.
It’s Mahler that they choose,
as if to own
my lone grown-up maturity,
instead of hers.
© Kathy McVittie 25 June 2016
* Rob Cowan’s ‘Who am I?” quiz on BBC Radio 3’s Breakfast programme on 23 June 2016. Once he had revealed the identity of the mystery musician, he played a recording of her singing Kindertoten Lieder (Songs on the Death of Children) no 2 by Mahler, words by Ruckert.
Early in her professional career Kathleen Ferrier sang Ma Curly-Headed Babby in a concert at Workington. This lullaby (from cotton plantation workers in USA) was one that my mother often sang to me (her fourth child, born in the early 1950s) when I was tiny.
Four lives, three deaths, inextricably linked.
writingpresence 
I can’t imagine how a mother could bear the loss of a child. I know there is no comparison, but I am still mourning the tragic and violent loss of a pet last year. I only mention this because it is the closest I can come to losing a child. One in your care and nurturing, lost. We all approach grief according to our own story. Parents, husband, close friends, sister, brother, child, beloved pet. The way of nature, but the hardest lesson to accept.
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Judy I am sorry for the loss you are still mourning, still with its elements of shock. Grief can be a complicated, and yes very personal experience. Our role perhaps is to witness others’ grief, and our own, with compassion. Thank you for witnessing my sharing x
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